Musing

M.O.

Sometimes... I don't know how to really start this without sounding like a lunatic... ugh, JUMPING IN!
Sometimes I become too aware of my life. What I've done, what I haven't done, what I want to do, and what will forever be a dream.
The last month or so has been a whirlwind of, "Huh?! Who is this girl?!?!". Still trying to figure that out, but at least I'm trying. I guess I've seen that I have very little faith/trust (whatevs) left in men, sorry boys. Not girls, girls are good friends, and that only took a solid 3 or 4 years to get to a place where I genuinely love my guh fraans, probably because they challenge me ALL the time.

Anyway, men. So you know how you hit a certain age and the, "When are you getting married, honey?" question is asked every 5 seconds? Innocent question, but recently I've wanted to scream, "NEVERRR!!". Fortunately, for the questioners, most of these are asked while I'm at church, so I must refrain the yelling spree I'd like to go on. This whole southern atmosphere of graduate high school-go to college-get engaged before college ends-get married right after college-make sure you have a solid-ish job-and start pumping out babies thing is not my style. I'm unconventional as it is, so demanding that I meet up to some standard because "that's what mommy and daddy did", ugh, please stop it. It's not going to happen. (watch, just because I said that, it's totally going to happen... blah.)

Back to my lack of man faith; I wish society wouldn't demand women to grow up before men. I know they don't do this intentionally, but it's here, it's happening. Parents: fix that junk. I would like to meet a guy my age that doesn't remind me of the kids I babysit (sorry for that last jab, but maybe it'll hit home?) (yeahhh, sorry for that one too).

I am overwhelmed with my life, where it's going/where it's not going. I'm going to say it has a lot to do with that southern mentality. It's instilled in my head, it's the next step.
It's going to kill me.

Single? Yerp. Happily single? Yeeeeerp. Still battling the same things you always have been when it comes to relationship desires? yeah.
Vicious, man.

It is time. Time to make a change. Look out people.

*Etsy: cutpasteprint shop

(*side note: when I write in the moment, my writing just flies all over the place. Structure isn't really my thing... sorry for the late warning)